1ºJennifer Kay Davis They came prepared because they knew this was a possibility. They are aware that in moments of overstimulation he needs a safe place. That is hard to come by on a plane. That’s why they brought all of his stuff and his meds in hopes that it would go smoothly. But it didn’t. The point is there is no way of knowing how he would react and the fact that he started reacting before the flight took of was an indication that he would not be comfortable when it actually did. They were given travel credit for the inconvenience. All I am asking is what protocols should the airline have in place that would make any difference in such a situation?
2ºI’m conflicted here. Yes accommodations should be made for disabilities. But I also have a neurodivergent child and I don’t force him into situations that will be difficult for him because I want to go somewhere or do something. De-escalation techniques do not work all the time. Many ND human being are triggered by changes in their routines. Doing something twice before doesn’t mean it’s part of a routine or a safe option. This mother very much set this kid up to fail and I don’t know what kind of accommodations she believes the airline can make when her son became a danger to people around him.
3ºCiera Gaines I know this is hard but in the world there are only 2 persons, your daughter and you, try to ignore the judgy looks, removing her from the situation is appropiate most of the time. When my daughter was younger I used to sit down and tell her that I know she feels frustrated and her feelings are valid, she would regulate herself in a while. You can do this, my daughter is in 10 grade in highschool and taking college courses, her GPA is 4.0, she plays the drumset is bilingual, she is doing great, and your daughter with your help will be fine, I learned with her in the process, there are books that can help you and there are communities of autistic adults willing to help, you can find them in fb. Be ready to have very bold answers, they are not mean, they are just very direct people.
4ºBrooke Parker Hill I agree. That's not how autism works. However, you can't excuse or justify the behavior. Responsibility must fall on parent. Safety for all is a priority. I have had parents say tell me he's autistic and he doesn't know better. Yes, they know. You have to teach them and work on their behaviors. Every child is different, but you can change the behavior. I did. My kid had melt downs on a bus due to it going down the wrong street. So I spent the next month driving different routes to multiple places while he had a melt down in the back seat. By the end of the month, he learned there are multiple ways to get home and go places. He got to the point where, instead of screaming, he asked "oh, is this another way to the store? or home? " Yes-you can teach them. However, some parents are just lazy. And some kiddos are just more severely disabled. Every child is different. Medication helps! Some folks don't want to give their kids medication- but I will tell you if it wasn't for medication, my son would not be able to function. He'd be in a special class with his special friends. The right medication can change their lives.
5ºAs a parent of a young man with autism and adhd, as a teacher who works with autistic children, and as an advocate I wanted to side with the parent. I can empathize-I have been there, my son's meltdowns usually involved with substitute bus drivers who went the wrong way or something unexpected happening in school. However, you have to know your kid. You have to have a back up plan if things are not going well. I know they said he flew twice, but flying short distances vs. long distances can be the difference. You have to know your kid. Back up plan could have been to notice he was upset and not fly until he was calm. Perhaps they could have given him some meds to calm down. Again, you have to know your kid and accept their limitations and plan accordingly, sometimes that means vacationing locally. You cannot expect the world, to stop and build a bubble around you and your child. Boy, wouldn't that be nice though? The mother said " she hopes her story will galvanize the airline industry to become more accommodating to people like Elijah who have invisible disabilities." Safety has to be priority number one. Of course they cannot jeopardize a hundred people's lives due to your child's aggressive and violent behavior. It is an unfortunate event. I totally empathize. Again, you have to know your kid and their limitations and have a back up plan.
6ºYolanda L Brown One suggestion the mother makes in the article is airlines giving people with this particular disability a chance to board early, or spend time in a plane before the time of the flight. Some airlines already offer this service because it’s tremendously helpful for people with this particular disability as well as those who suffer from extreme anxiety or PTSD. It’s a sort practice run where they have an opportunity to board the plane and taxi to another terminal. It may be hard for a neurotypical person to understand but this sort of exposure and practice would likely have prevented her son’s meltdown. He could have also benefited from a quiet place where he could calm down. Obviously the bathroom is intended for another use. An closed off seat in the flight attendant area for emergency use where he could buckle in for takeoff could have also prevented his meltdown. There are a lot of solutions when people consider the needs of the specific disability.
7ºRachana Thapa she has no solutions… she hates that everyone is normal and are trying to find ways to help. But don’t think there should be help just acceptance of what ever happens.
God forbid he became unruly during the flight. My concern would have been how other passengers who weren’t aware of his condition reacted out of their fear for the own safety.
No one ever attacked her… she made this whole post about her and her family. Like I get it you deal with alot but no one is out here attacking her or the fact that she has a disability… wasn’t even called for for her to put her personal business on social media like that.
8ºWhile I don't have a kid with autism or other special needs, a few friends and family members do. I'm also a photographer who has educated myself on how to deal with special needs children and adults for that matter. Anything can be a trigger and it's all how you handle things. I once laid on the floor and held a kid's hand through his meltdown. The parents were completely stunned that I was talking to him calmly and willing to work through this no matter how much time it took me. The more educated anyone can be the better.
9ºI think the mom was way too nice about this personally. My heart goes out to them but It’s 2022 and autistic people aren’t the same as drunk Larry and Karen getting out of hand on a plane just because they are having adult tantrums over wearing a mask or whatever minor inconvenience they choose that day and it’s really messed up that they compared this to that sort of BS . Those are the people who are a threat and make flying unsafe. He seemed to be able to calm himself enough when he went into the bathroom and with help of others he may have been able to complete the flight without further incident but we will never know. Or perhaps we could possibly find ways to better accommodate neurodivergent people on flights? As a person who is neurodivergent (you wouldn’t really know this meeting me at first) with kids who are also and I have worked as a Para educator in the past, I think it’s wild that we are in 2022 and we still can’t grasp the difference between people who can’t help it and people who can. It’s like when I was growing up people thought they could beat the autism or ADD out of us. You can’t “punish” us for “bad behavior” it’s not bad behavior, it’s not a tantrum because we aren’t getting our way over something trivial…people need to stop comparing it as such.
10ºCasey Sawyer It's not bashing the way she said it. She said that she hopes airlines in general, not just this one, can put policies in place. She did suggest a couple of things which were targeted at helping someone with autism calm down, but did not expect that someone still be able to stay on the plane if they are having an episode that's unsafe. I think it would be really hard for airlines to accommodate the suggestions she offered for a variety of reasons, but there's no harm in opening up the conversation. Making a statement about possibly adjusting policy isn't bashing. It's opening a dialogue.